Why am I growing fat?

The first two decades of my life I enjoyed all the fuss of my anxious relatives who encouraged me to eat. I was thin. So they worried about my marital prospects. Indian men then, were known to feel kindly towards well-rounded women. I did manage to entice someone in my 'thin state' of life, married him and continued bingeing. I figured that my metabolism could handle the high carb stress and I would remain in the same shape. However today my jeans from 2 years ago lie dormant on my shelf, whispering demeaning things about me. I hear them discussing their horrific experiences. She almost killed me trying to wear me..Aw, that was nothing, we almost made it but my lil button pal gave away..

My mom believes that every newly married woman does gain weight, out of sheer happiness that she has hooked an unsuspecting male specimen. Although I tend to agree, I feel that this reasoning might be flawed as once the happinness stabilizes shouldn't your weight stabilize too ? So I figured, she was just trying to console me.

I think it is the milk & family of related products (oh! Cheese members, heads on plz) that is doing all the damage. The reason I did not gain much weight in India was because of its population.

Increasing population -> deforestation -> less agricultural land -> hay given less importance (we humans come first) ->underfed cows ->low fat milk -> Q.E.D

So we battle obesity in USA by giving birth.