Whats in the shape

Let me start out by saying that not every woman in the world needs to sport a wedding band to indicate that she is married. There are other cultures and religions that have managed to come up with varying versions of what describes one as married. I am married under the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955 in a lavish traditional wedding ceremony and NO I DON'T WEAR a wedding band. Excuse my outburst, but I am sure you will soon understand why.
South Indians wear a necklace/chain called thaali/mangalasutram that symbolizes that they are married. They weigh a ton (yes that is correct) and look something like this.
So for all intents and purposes, it is hidden beneath the many warm layers of clothing and hence not that visible. I fancy finger rings and so sport a diamond ring on the middle finger (there is no hidden agenda there, the ring was too loose on the other fingers) of my left hand.

The two fatal mistakes I made :
1. Wearing it on the middle finger of my LEFT hand
2. Wearing a damn small diamond (hey it was for my fancy!)

So the questions I often get asked are -

* Aloud : Why do you wear your engagement ring on the middle finger ?
Thinking: You must hate your fiancee

* Aloud : Wow! that diamond is so pretty.
Thinking: Even George can do better..I can't even see the thing

I might be a graduate student and consequently poor, but I am not letting them think that I was always "poor"! So I venture forth my standard explaination and show them my thaali. I swear I am not making the following conversation just because I want to sound funny but this is how it usually goes.

Me : Pulls out the chain from deep beneath and displays the gold chain proudly
Curious One: They are two breasts!

TIMEOUT --- If you are Indian, you know what a taboo part of the body b....ts are. You don't say those words aloud!

Me: Stunned, red and stammering - I believe you might be correct. This brings a whole new perspective to everything now.

To date I do not know why my thali is shaped the way it is. Perhaps, we really did try to infuse sensuality into everything, the Land of Kamasutra and all. But, now I don't complain too much when people think I am engaged, poor or a bad wife who doesn't wear the wedding band. Anything is worth not hearing the same reaction again and again.

-Subbu