Orifice non grata

Common Exotic Ailments

2008-06-05T05:52:00.000-07:00

Every year I manage to fall prey to some weird ailment. The symptoms are mild but irritating but the cause is difficult to identify. The common theme is that I throw off some scent that attracts the smallest of bugs.

Last year I was bitten by something and the doc said probably some bug/flea that jumped from the grass. So I restrained my singing and dancing to paved roads. And yet the bites continued fueling my paranoia. Was it a bed bug ? Should I set fire to all my furniture (history says that was a treatment for bugs)? At some point I think my husband might have contemplated enrolling me in "Bug Bite Anonymous". I performed experiments that involved standing at a particular spot in a room and then checking if I suffered any bites. In one such trial run I was bitten. So proceeding to the next step I scoured the carpet with a magnifying glass to determine if some creature escaped the powerful forces of Super Vacuum 2001. And needless to say, I found the world's tiniest insect jumping about, no doubt as it scented my presence. I am unashamed to say I squished it, and the bites stopped. Is this a placebo ? I don't know but it worked.

Now, I seem to suffer from some allergy - runny nose, itchy eyes, and continuous bouts of sneezing. My sneeze count has exceeded hundred for sure. Of course in the beginning I assumed it was a cold caused by my sudden urge to eat tutti fruti icecream in 90 deg heat. But then my itchy eyes forced reconsideration. Recalling my earlier tryst with the minute warriors, I had to retrace my steps. Sandflies in the beach volleyball court, or the borrowed camping equipment that lay in my home ? And I do feel a wee bit ashamed to even think that I might suffer from allergies. It connotes a weak immune system, soft living, and lots of wealth - all of which I do not possess. For now I still suffer these common symptoms, and have almost succumbed to buying OTC medication. Perhaps it the Revenge of the Buggies, and they might have just won this one!

Rate my travel photo

2007-10-06T12:17:00.001-07:00

view and rate this entry in the

The Age of Innocence

by rummy20

Viriginia Tech Shootings

2007-04-16T11:52:00.000-07:00

This is surreal. Went to school early to get some work done. And soon I am instructed to stay put in my office because there is a crazy gunman on the loose. We laugh it off thinking it is just another freak incident. But soon there is a quiet hush as we read about the rising death toll. It is happening right here. And we are helpless.

This is my school. I know the building - Norris Hall. I have walked those paths hundreds of times. And now there is a massacre, on my campus. Should we go home ? Evacuation ? All bus services are canceled. My adviser drops me home. We listen in silence to the radio that spews worsening news. Desperate, we hope it is a blunder of flipped numbers. But they only increase.

Classes are canceled for today and tomorrow. But, I doubt if Blacksburg and the Hokies will ever recover from this. Our prayers for all those affected.

One of the many reasons why a PhD should marry another PhD

2007-03-02T07:21:00.000-08:00

Source

Unakkul Naan from Patchai Kili Muthucharam

2007-02-18T17:46:00.000-08:00

There is a violin piece in this song which is just fascinating, so much that I ended up trying to figure out the swaras.

Here goes :

s p m p N p m p

g m g m g r s n

g m g m g r s n

m m p

s p m p N p m p

g m g m g r s n

g m g m g r s n

m m p

p N S N G R N p . S

p N S N G R N pp S

n s g m p N p p g

gmpNS NSGRN

g m p N S p RRR.SSN

S N p m g r s n

p n s g m p N S G R G .. S . p .

I think the raaga is Agnikopa

Aro : S G2 M1 P N2 S
Avaro: S N2 P M1 G2 R2 S

It would be helpful if someone could confirm or refute this!

Meet your Meat -- YouTube

2007-02-18T10:21:00.000-08:00

If you are a non-vegetarian (even a lacto/ovo-veggie) in USA, you should see this

Untraining my writing

2007-02-09T07:10:00.000-08:00

My brain needs to understand that writing a blog is not equivalent to writing a paper.

Warning bells ring wildly in my academic-driven-pedantic-mind at the use of a negative in the sentence above. I am disallowed from using "not" in my research writing. A sacred rule that simply must be obeyed. Surely, I can rely on my moderately expansive vocabulary to pen a few words that less than five people read (I include myself twice in this list), without resorting to a thesaurus.

Know your audience and style your writing to suit them. Does this apply to a blog ? As mentioned earlier in Section 3.2 (sheesh), there are about three readers - my mom, my brother and my cousin.

Amma cherishes each post just as a mother will. My brother on the other hand - a famous, successful blogger (with his own fan club on orkut!) - occasionally graces my blog to reaffirm his superiority in the blogger world. I have had to bear taunts such as "I think by blog-rolling you, I have significantly increased your traffic". Maybe he used a different word - significantly fits better in an experimental-results-section. My cousin - an intellectual who loves a debate - chooses to respond to only certain posts that suggest potential-world-wars. This is a confirmation of his elitism. And I mean that in a good way.

So going back to the rule of knowing your audience, the reader (if you did make it this far and are not related to me, thank you *sniff*) should infer that this rule is pretty pointless. I truly believe, a blog is where the writer is the reader and writes because she adores sentence construction, revels in self-mockery and harbors a secret feeling of superiority over all blogs that have less than 3 readers. I think I have managed to "untrain" my writing just a little bit. The title of this post bears little relation to the contents. Reminds me of my research work! :-)

You know it is cold when...

2007-02-01T13:23:00.000-08:00

you start thawing at room temperature
your glasses get foggy
you resemble an exotic proboscis monkey with a red nose
you realize you can feel your ears hurt (they are so quiet otherwise)
you begin to wish for snow (it is much warmer then)
you cannot think of more than five good reasons

For what it is worth...

2007-01-18T19:41:00.000-08:00

The President on "24" is an African-American whose decision making skills border on being ludicrous. No doubt, this will help embed a subconscious opinion in every ardent fan (who are great many in number out there) about potential Presidential candidates (Obama, anyone ?). And the broadcast channel Fox I hear is very conservative. Anyways, what do I know about American politics.

2006 in Review

2006-12-31T10:29:00.000-08:00

I am not a resolution-maker because I suffer from ADHD. Oh my goodness! A closer read of the article does suggest that I exhibit most symptoms! Anyways, trying to get back on track here - what has 2006 taught me ?

NYTimes is boring: In the beginning, I would look forward to Sunday mornings - to read NYTimes. Now I find myself classifying it under "Same old crap - recycled"

New Yorker is exciting: Why did I not find this earlier ? Wonderful writing.

Entertaining site - isketch.net

There are some CS folks who still use IE

Best two player board game - Lost Cities

Amex Wishlist is designed around the art of perseverance

Spell check has eliminated my chances at spelling-bee

I might forget Tamil. People only want to talk in English

Anthony Bourdain rocks. Advised viewing one episode a day. Too much of a good thing can kill.

Gaming nights - "best kept secret" for having fun

Daniel Craig is the best bond.

I love surprise birthday parties. Especially when organized by my husband.

Sea otters personify the epitome of carefree childhood (courtesy: visit to Georgia aquarium)

Vegas is great, for 3 days only.

I don't miss the snow. Prefer green Christmas.

Enjoy swimming enough to want to be born as a dolphin

Writing is a pleasure; whether for pleasure or research

Still cannot follow American football

My husband is crazy enough to wake up at 4am to watch a cricket match

As I grow older, I find it more difficult to read fiction; I hope to get through this phase soon.

Happy New Year 2007~

Bond is back for real

2006-11-22T19:11:00.000-08:00

Casino Royale, the latest Bond offering, is lip-smackingly, heart-thumpingly craigalicious. Daniel Craig works hard to keep your attention, and he does. He is raw and real, which is more than what can ever be said of the other Bonds. He plays the sensitive-romeo and the tough-rambo roles with equal panache. I am surprised that a lot of my female pals still prefer Brosnan over Craig. Justifications varied from "he acts like a piece of floating wood" to "isn't he fat".. (or is fat the urban lingo for fantastic physique?)

Aah well, some people just need to get over eons of smooth-talkers, gadget-whippers, puerile-one-liners and enjoy some genuine, earthy action.

Movie - Highly Recommended.

Appa

2006-09-17T08:57:00.000-07:00

Like every daughter I do believe that my father is one of a kind. He is all and more than any father can ever be. He is a walking encyclopedia with a photographic memory. A casual outing to the park would turn out to be a National Geographic expedition. Naming the different kinds of butterflies, quizzing us about the botanical names of trees (that me and my brother were young kids of 8 and 4 years did not deter him), forcing our minds to think beyond the obvious are memories that I cherish everyday. His curiosity for life and his infectious zest for knowledge has more than influenced me. Perhaps this is obvious in my quest for solving the computing problems of the world (well nothing quite so dramatic, but surely I can indulge in some theatrics in my own blog !).

I try to recall a single day when appa has been morose or gloomy. He is the bright and dazzling sunshine that lights up a dull day. Always smiling, a quality I so dearly wish the eternally-sorrowful lot would try and imbibe. At times, I wonder if I have chosen my advisor just because he so reminded me of my father. :-)

On my recent trip to India I got to witness first-hand his fantastic leadership and bedazzling charisma. He was a Chief Guest for a function and was asked to speak. And with little notice he spoke extempore in literate Tamil. His unscripted speech was bejewelled with funny anecdotes, warm reminiscences and brought him a thunderous ovation. Soon after the function, people flocked him, to see him, talk to him, just feel his charisma. It almost seemed like the underlings of the earth knew they were in the presence of a higher being and wanted to be a part of it. Such is my father, inspiring loyal followers where ever he treads.

How do you write about a man who is perhaps the epitome of what every man should strive to be. Well, he does have his faults but even they are endearing. For example, he suffers from the foot-in-mouth syndrome. And ironically, he never sets out to embarrass anyone. In his own goodnatured way, he sometimes gets carried away with the moment leading to oh-no moments.
He has a tendency to confuse facts and as his family we have quite a time drumming them into his head. Like no funny jokes about hair-dye, not to the aunty who is so obviously dyeing her hair in weird burgundy! We know he means well, lighten the moment with his humor, but sometimes (only sometimes) it is misplaced. :-) And his other short-coming is in constantly talking about his daughter to anyone who would listen. For some weird reason he believes I can change the world, a phenomenon I have repeatedly assured him will not happen.

If there is one quality that I can inherit from my dad I would choose his love for life. Every minute feels alive in his company. I am grateful for being his daughter. He has taught me life's lessons well and they will remain with me forever.

Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest

2006-07-16T13:13:00.000-07:00

Is the sequel worth 8$ ? No.

As with all movies the original stands out. I wonder if it is possible to apply this analogy to first love. I digress.

Jack Sparrow is back with his shallow values and effeminate mannerisms. It felt like Depp went back and watched himself over and over again in "curse of black pearl", so much that we are subjected to an overdose of Sparrow's lisping savvy.

The story is unclear and whatever plot the Disney folks cooked up is explained in strange accents, so much that the audience feel guilty that they are not smart enough to follow what is going on. Idiots.

It is like a run-of-the-mill Bollywood movie. Instead of expensive songs we have stunning graphics and visuals which are quite disgusting thanks to the details! I am truly not a fan of icky monsters.

Keira's cheek bones seems more prominent. Someone get her to eat. Orlando Bloom is bland as can be. There is no chemistry between the two. And then we have a twisted romantic angle, Depp & Keira ? Maybe a setup for the trilogy ending. Whatever.

If you have nothing better to do then go read a book. Not see the movie.

Perfect gift for the lazy Peeping Tom

2006-07-15T07:18:00.000-07:00

Can you see the bookshelf in this stunning picture of Sydney ? Zoom in.

Taken with Canon 10D (using stitch option).

Week's woes - of wars & tomatoes

2006-07-15T06:08:00.000-07:00

With powerless govts to stop the fanatical militant groups we have a rush of violence - Mumbai / Israel-Lebanon ongoing conflict / LTTE...

Obviously nothing can top the first woe. But I think it is time the world knew about a stolen tomato.

My dedication to nurturing my first potted plant is a recorded fact. And this plant produced one small tomato. Green with splashes of yellow. End of July and so I was told was the due date. Each evening I would water it lovingly; at times be tempted to bring a tape and measure the diameter. I did talk to the plant. No no.. no names yet. It is considered unlucky to name it ahead of its legal entrance into this world.

The day was like any other; I carried some extra soil to pad the pot. And then there was none. No tomato. The pot looked stripped of all its glory.

I am from Chennai. It has the meanest of streets and hosts the worst of truants. Events like a stolen tomato should not affect me. But it did shake me a little from the protective cocoon I was living in here, in the USA. In a college town where students sleep peacefully with their doors unlocked, is it unreasonable to have an unprotected tomato plant ?

Well atleast I hope someone enjoyed a delicious dish made from my tomato. Isn't that the typical Hindu reaction ? Or in keeping with the current trend should I wage jihad on all tomato-eaters of this planet ?

Mouse Potato

2006-07-06T13:10:00.000-07:00

Inspired by couch potato, mouse potato is a new word for a person who spends too much time with computers.

A question of interest : Is this term applicable to everyone ? I don't think so. Below are some suggestions:

Potato: A person who looks that; computers not responsible for appearance

Mouse Potato: Layman who surfs for pleasure. Uses the mouse great deal.

Cat Potato: The geek who prides on using only the keyboard. Cats hate mice. When you can call the mouse a mouse, I can call the keyboard a cat.

Couchy-Mouse Potato: Mouse potato sleeping on couch and surfing.

Mobile Potato: Oxymoron. Scratch that.

Bent-knee Potato: Person always using a laptop. Etymology: from position of body.

The Federer-Cream-Jacket mystery

2006-07-01T06:27:00.000-07:00

Every Federer fan who has been following Wimbledon closely would have noticed that the greatest-one dons a cream-jacket at the end of every match. It is a formal jacket. Worn over the tennis attire. For the disbelievers here is proof:

It is natural to speculate if the debonair Swiss, like many of his women colleagues, is testing an alternate career in fashion ? As a true fan I decided perhaps the lines between genius and madness are indeed blurry. I could forgive a sartorial disaster now and then. But I must confess my days were often shadowed by his sudden display of avoidable fashion. However, today a one of my favorite columnists, Martin Johnson, put me out of my misery by explaining the mystery of the cream jacket -

"...in return for a few extra quid from Nike, he is now obliged to walk on to court wearing a cream jacket"

Nike. You have just done it. Err..fire your fashion consultant. And where is your logo on the jacket. Isn't that the point ?

And that is why you should avoid Coca Cola

2006-06-29T05:52:00.000-07:00

Email from AID

**************
27^th June, 2006
NANDLAL AND MUKESH GO ON INDEFINITE HUNGER STRIKE AGAINST COCA COLA

The indefinite sit-in going on outside the Coca Cola bottling plant in Mehdiganj village, Varanasi since 23^rd March, 2006, was converted into a relay hunger strike on 23^rd June and today Nandlal, the leader of the movement, and Mukesh, the Gram Pradhan of the neighbouring Nagepur village, decided to intensify their struggle to close down the plant by going on indefinite
hunger strike. The struggle against this plant has been going on since the summer of 2003 and local villagers are fighting for their right to save their groundwater which is under threat because of the operations of the plant, drawing extraordinarily large volumes of water per day. Moreover, a recent Central Pollution Control Board report has revealed that the sludge
generated by the plant contains toxins like Cadmium, Chromium and Lead which pose an additional threat to groundwater contamination. When a senior Coca Cola official, Kalyan Ranjan, came to have a dialogue with the community on the first day of the indefinite sit-in, in response to his query as to what would it take to satisfy the local community he was
told in no uncertain terms that the people would not be satisfied in anything less than the plant shutting down. The struggle has attracted international attention and support. About 55
organization (see below) from all over the world have expressed solidarity
with the movement.
----------
*SUPPORT INDEFINTE FAST SINCE 27^th JUNE, 2006, BY THE LOCAL LEADERS OF THE
COMMUNITY OUTSIDE THE COCA COLA BOTTLING PLANT IN MEHDIGANJ, VARANASI, INDIA

* The Cola giants are under fire around the world for unethical corporate practices. Community groups are increasingly demanding that Coke and Pepsi stop externalizing their costs and exploiting communities.

A partial list of unethical practices by the Cola giants includes:

(1) Coca Cola involved in assassination of at least 8 union leaders and torture of other workers at company's plants in Colombia over the last five years[1]. Its saga of unjust labour practices transcends commonly held human values. The Global March against Child Labour found child workers in the production of promotional footballs for the company in Pakistan[2].

(2) Coca Cola had to pay $192 million for racial discrimination of its black workers in the USA in 2000[3].

(3) Coca Cola is a major threat to precious ground water resources which common people use for drinking and irrigation purposes. In Plachimada, Kerala, India water has dried up in a radius of 3 km from the plant site[4]. This situation threatens to displace 20,000 local habitants, while at the same time the bottling plant only gives employment to 50 local people[5]. Community groups in Mehdiganj, Sinchawar and Kaladera in India are also protesting dropping water levels owing to the companies activities.

(4) Pepsico and Coca Cola have lobbied with the Congress to cut US funds to WHO[6] after its report on the health effects of high sugar diets.

(5) In India Coca Cola and Pepsi beverages were found to have 30 times more
pesticides than the European Union standard[7]. A High Court ruling requires
these companies to mention pesticide levels on bottles[8].

(6) The sludge coming out of Coca Cola plant has been dumped in neighboring communities in Plachimada, Kerala. BBC found this sludge to contain hazardous toxins including Cadmium and Lead[9].

(7) In Africa Coca Cola did not provide relevant education and treatment on AIDS to its 100,000 employees until a public outcry in 2003[10]. Even after this it provided the relevant services only to a small number of people it considered its employees leaving out a large number of people who were associated with its operations in Africa.

(8) Coca Cola renders 5 times more people, who make locally produced drinks, jobless than it employs[11]. Dropping water levels and increasing toxicity in the water have also affected agrarian livelihoods. It is a drain on the local and rural economies.

(9) Coca Cola has been guilty of tax evasion in various countries [12]. In Mehdiganj, Varanasi Coca Cola has encroached upon village commons. In spite of the order of a former City Magistrate to demolish the portion of plant illegally built on this piece of land, no action has been taken by the administration. Coca Cola was found guilty of cheating on revenue when it
bought this plant and it was fined. It still has not paid the full amount of Rs. 35 million to the government. On 9^th December, 2005, the Company attempted to encroach upon a 100 metres road belonging to the Village Sabha in Sinhachawar, Ballia. The vigilant villagers foiled the attempt.

(10)Coca Cola influences media to stall stories unfavorable to it[13]. A number of Universities including New York University and Rutgers University have canceled their contracts with Coca Cola because they believe evidence shows that Coca Cola is involved in unethical practices.
While Cola companies reserve the right to make profits ethically, they externalize costs of production on to local and global communities which is exploitative and unethical. We oppose this. They externalize their costs through unfair wages and work conditions, through dumping of hazardous wastes on local environments and through withdrawal of millions of liters of
water ever yday, affecting health and livelihoods of local communities. There can be no recompense for losing access to water or ill health owing to exposure to toxins. These practices of the Cola companies are unjust and exploitative on a global scale. We believe that in the globalized world, communities must act globally to end such practices. We demand the Coca Cola and Pepsico stop production of their products till such time that they make products without exploitative methods and without externalizing the costs of production. Until such a time, as members of a global community, we hold these companies responsible for their actions. As consumers, we boycott their products and call upon other community groups to do so as well.

Endorsements:
National Alliance of People's Movements, Lok Samiti, Sajha Sanskriti Manch,
Gaon Bachao Sangharsh Samiti, Mehdiganj, Campaign to Stop Killer Coke (US),
Asha Parivar, Narmada Bachao Andolan, Socialist Front, Sajhi Duniya,
Samajwadi Jan Parishad, Loktantrik Samajwadi Party, Mahila Swarojgar Samiti,
Mahila Chetna Samiti, Prerna Kala Manch, Vision, Path, Grasses, Vidya
Ashram, PVCHR, PUCL, Gandhian Institute of Studies, Guria, Bhagat Singh
Youth Brigade, Prayas Prashikshan Samiti, Aasra, Jeevandan Samiti, Sarva
Sewa Sangh, Gramya, SARC, Chatra Asmita Bachao Manch, People for Animals,
Mitra, Shikhar Prashikshan Sewa Sansthan, Asmita, Achrumata Machuara
Sangathan (Tikamgarh), INSAF, Plachimada Solidarity Committee, Lok Raj
Sangathan, South Asia Parternership (Pakistan), Pakistan Social Forum,
Iniciativas de Economia Alternativa y Solidaria (Spain), EKTA (Committee for
Communal Amity), Mumbai, South Asia Network on Dams, Rivers and People,
Community Development Library (Bangladesh), Association for Advocacy and
Legal Initiatives, Sahayog, Corporate Accountability International (US),
Polaris Institute (Canada), Minnesota Metro Women's International League for
Peace and Freedom - Corporations vs. Democracy Committee (US), Ideas to
Mobilize People Against Corporate Tyranny (US), Avalon High School Amnesty
Chapter, Minnesota (US), Anti War Committee (US), Coalition for an
Egalitarian and Pluralistic India (US), South Asia Forum (US), World Council
of Arya Samaj, Minnesota Alliance of Peacemakers (US)
Contact:
Nandlal, Lok Samiti, Mehdiganj, Raja Talab, Varanasi, PIN 221311, India,
Ph: 542-2632433, Mobile: 9415300520, 9839017693, e-mail: napm_up@yahoo.com
Sandeep, Asha Parivar, A-893, Indira Nagar, Lucknow-226016, India, Ph: 522-2347365, Mobile: 9839073355, 9415022772, e-mail: ashaashram@yahoo.com
Carola Reintjes, IDEAS, Iniciativas de Economia Alternativa y Solidaria,
Avda. Amargacena, P.9-N.7-14013 Cordoba-Espana (Spain), Ph: 34 957429233,
www.ideas.coop, creintjes@ideas.coop Sanat Mohanty, 3104, 40^th Ave., South,
Minneapolis, MN 55406, USA, Ph: 612 623 3802, sanat.mohanty@gmail.com, mohantysanat@yahoo.com References [1]
"Colombia Coke Bottler Faces Death Suit", Stefan Armbruster, BBC News,
04.04.03 [2] Global March against Child Labour, "Report on Child Labour in
Football Production in Pakistan", May 2002 [3] Les Echos FRA 17/11/2000; May
1 2000, San Francisco Bay Guardian,
http://www.commondreams.org/views/050100-108.htm;
http://www.insurancejournal.com/news/national/2000/11/17/11540.htm
[4] CorpWatch India, Nityanand Jayaraman, 28/05-02,
http://www.corpwatchindia.org/issues/PID.jsp?articleid=1603
[5] Denise Commane and Eric Toussaint, www.cadtm.org <http://www.cadtm.org/>
, 11th March, 2004 [6] The Guardian, April 21, 2003,
http://www.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,3604,940287,00.html
[7] Report of the /Joint Committee on Pesticide Residues in and Safety
Standards for Soft Drinks, Fruit Juices and other Beverages/ of Indian
Parliament, January 27, 2004, the /Center for Science and Environment/,
India and /Pesticide Action Network//PAN (http://www.pesticideinfo.org
<http://www.pesticideinfo.org/>), including extremely dangerous pesticides
such as DDT and Lindane [8] http://www.rediff.com/money/2004/dec/06cola.htm
[9] http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/3096893.stm
[10] http://www.treat-your-workers.org/
<http://www.treat-your-workers.org/> ,
http://www.commondreams.org/headlines02/1017-02.htm
<http://www.commondreams.org/headlines02/1017-02.htm> ,
http://edition.cnn.com/BUSINESS/programs/yourbusiness/stories2001/coke.aids/
[11] The plant in Mehdiganj, India produces 250,000 litres of Coca Cola in a
day and employs about 500 people. Assuming one person could produce and sell
100 litres of a local drink per day, 2,500 will be employed.
[12] http://www.indiaresource.org/news/2004/1016.html,
http://www.indiaresource.org/news/2005/1071.html,
http://www.thesouthasian.org/archives/000383.html
[13] Bobby Ramakant (bobby@hdnet.org) was requested by South Africa
Broadcasting Corporation not to mention Coca-Cola by name when he was being
interviewed about human rights violations of protestors outside Coca Cola
plant in Varanasi, India in November, 2004.

Me Tarzan. You Jane?

2006-06-24T07:11:00.000-07:00

I write this post assuming that the rental office is never going to read this blog. In a valiant attempt to sneer in the face of canned tomato industry I have taken to pot-gardening. Since my apartment is not conducive for the all-round development of a tomato plant, I sneakily camaflouged the pot outside. Like little Ms. Red Riding Hood I sneak through the forests of unknown peril to water my plant. On one of these gay jaunts I chanced upon a afro-american man (I am still never sure what it is to be politically correct. Can I just say black?) who looked like Hulk-Hogan. In addition, his monstrous size was offset by an adorable puppy.

All dogs love me. Note that this feeling is not reciprocated. This might have something to do with a childhood incident - a dying pomeranian tried to bite me when I affectionately stroked it. When I look back I understand that it is best to leave dying dogs alone. However, erring on the side of caution I avoid all dogs.

So this puppy runs around my ankles, yelping. Since running away from something so tiny would seem cowardly I try to talk. The conversation is as follows:

Me: How old is the puppy ?

Hulk-Hogan: About 6 weeks.

Meanwhile, I search for a quick getaway without seeming like a wimp.

Hulk-Hogan: How old are you ?

I was not sure if I heard him right. Is that a permitted question ? Can I not ask how old a dog is without revealing my age ? Maybe this guy was from the rental office and so was checking if I should be booked under juvenile misdemeanor or felony for growing illegal tomato plants?

I used my favorite tactic and pretended to not hear and continued playing soccer with the puppy.

Hulk-Hogan: Are you even married ?

If his first question was unexpected, this second one completely threw me off. And what does he mean by "even" ?

The coordinates of my diamond rings are (middle finger, left hand) & (ring finger, right hand). May be he was a victim of the Child Left Behind program and was confused by the unconventional location of the jewellery.

Me: Yes!

My orange-alert kicks into gear as I suddenly recall horrifying stories about physical assaults. I make a break for it. And they say I can't run fast.

You know it is Kali Yuga when a frog's beating heart wins over a stinking fruit

2006-06-20T05:50:00.000-07:00

I am still reeling after watching a program Bizarre Foods: Asia on Travel Channel yesternight. Andrew Zimmern a hearty, balding (should I just say bald?) chef with a taste for the most weird foods (if you could call them that!) takes on Asia. Of course we've all heard about how the Asians love their snakes and scorpions, but Zimmern takes eating to a whole new level. Recalling from my memory, which is still mentally regurgitating, here is a list of foods that no man should ever even think about:

Frogs in Tokyo: Smiling Japanese chef has a group of kicking frogs and asks baby-face-with-crazy-taste to pick out one. The chosen green froggie is skinned alive (at this point I start uttering Gayatri mantra to purify myself). Jap man scoops the beating heart and hands it over to Z, who looks confused and delighted at the same time. He just plops it into his mouth, while I watch unable to comprehend what just happened. To wash down the undoubtedly delicious taste I-topped-my-frog-skinning-class Jap creates a sake with a DEAD lizard sitting in that glass. Roly-poly looked like kid-in-disneyland and drank it down, murmuring culinary comments. I ask, is it possible to even think when you know you have eaten a beating heart and a dead lizard sake. Obviously, as I am a vegetarian, averse to eating anything that moves, I would not know much about the mental powers that one garners from eating frogs.

What a sad ending to a possibly long life: No, not the elephant but it is the turtle or tortoise I did not observe closely enough, as I watched the whole program like one would watch a horror movie, but in this case I did not enjoy it. Well, Saddam chopped off the turtle's head and collected the gushing blood in a bowl. Come on, one needs appetizing drinks now. Human blood would have to wait for a more "broad minded" audience or is cannibalism legal in Tokyo? All drink and no solid makes Z a dull boy. So, various organs are placed in different blood-filled glasses. Imagine all the party games you can play with this one - Guess the Organ, Lotto with Body parts. Ooh! Hope Paris is reading this. Apparently nutritious and improves the virility these dishes are in great demand. I digress when I ask, which woman would even contemplate being with someone who eats anything that moves! She could be next.

Roasted Bats: Stick-toting villagers and Z, hike long distances to underground caves and get about a dozen fruit bats. Why choose the veggie bats ? Why not go after the vampire bats ? That would be an even contest. These bats are eventually roasted and eaten.

Bird Nests: That is correct. Not content with eating the inhabitants the Chinese have found a way to eat their homes. The bird saliva and excrement are major components of the nests and are known to have medicinal properties of anti-aging etc. Since they are built high up in the mountains, are very laborious to collect and so, are very expensive.

Durian- the fruit that stopped Z: Durian is the fruit native to Thailand, the brave general who defeats the incorrigible appetite of the philistines. It is known for a powerful odor and is banned from hotels and select public places. Anyways, Z after consuming everything from pig's ears to chicken brains could not get himself to eat a fruit.

Of course, there are probably weirder foods (really? I cannot think of any) but the point is these are popular enough to have their own stalls and fan-base. Ignoring the outliers who consume placenta (please tell me it is untrue) and human hair (I am sure no one does this), it is difficult to accept such tastes. I am not a voyeur who derived vicarious pleasure from watching this program. The only reason I watched was to be aware of the depths of human depravity.

Too much time

2006-06-12T18:44:00.000-07:00

That is what I fear. I have all the time in the world and yet, have nothing to do. Have always been puzzled when people complain "No time to do anything". May be I have all their missing time.

With so much time to flounder I become paranoid. Surely, I waste this precious gift of life. What should I do ? That is the question that haunts me day and night. In the morning, when I wake up I think about the day that lies ahead. It seems so capacious like a walk-in closet full of empty hangars waiting for the missing shirts. And I seem to have no answers that can fill up the empty void that stretches between sleep.

I read. I cook. I watch TV. And yet even when doing those activities I fear their end for the inevitable question looms ahead -- what next? My world is thrown into disorder during the five minute break that all television programs seem to take every half hour. There are only commercials filmed. What do I do in those five minutes ? It is against my principles to watch the ads, so I am stuck desperately surfing channels, hoping to catch the tail end of some episode.

Every activity is finite in its ability to entertain. Or may be I should rephrase that. I am limited in my capacity to be entertained. A chronic disorder that has haunted me through the years. My mother, she probably best understands this ailment I suffer from. Only her wistful sighs echo from overseas, asking me "are you bored again ?".

As a child I had the right to cry and throw tantrums, to show my dissatisfaction with the way the world was run. My only article to be published in a national daily was about loneliness. And this was at the age 17. Today, as an adult, I still struggle to come to terms with the insatiability of my mind. And so I try to tire myself physically, by running or swimming. Anything to expend this energy that threatens to devour my peace of mind.

I am reminded of the tale where the devil was kept busy by the task of trying to straighten a dog's tail. May be someday I too will find a dog whose tail needs straightening. And then I shall have less time.

I deserve the pain of watching bad movies

2006-06-09T19:51:00.000-07:00

Some questions have no answers. For example: Why do I choose to see the worst movies over and over again. Oh! If it was just watching ithem on TV then that is just a waste of time. But no..I have to pay for the pain and that is precisely what I did on June 6 2006. I don't believe in the Devil nor am I a Christian. But I am a sucker for good non-gore horror movies. And voila I went and watch THE OMEN. The movie sucked on so many levels it is difficult to pinpoint one. The kid was just a pouting little spoilt brat who just looked that - spoilt. The cinematography was lacklustre. Julia Stiles might as well have taken up another career, I suggest being a MANNEQUIN in a store. Only Mia Farrow deserves any praise. She was wonderful and was responsible for the little thrills.

The last horror movie I watched in the theater was some Japanese adaptation, the name escapes me. There were rave reviews about it. And I believed them. Sucker!

And now I didn't go by the reviews for Omen and guess what: suckered again.

Just the Lord's way of telling me to stay away from evil I suppose.

Now that is entertaining research

2006-05-27T11:06:00.000-07:00

You love a song..
You worship an artist..
Wonder if there are others
With similar style, music ?

Then go here to the Music Genome Project that will identify artists/ songs based on structural similarities

Finally...

2006-05-25T18:53:00.000-07:00

a Da Vinci truce?

Your kid will probably curse you

2006-05-18T06:52:00.000-07:00

If named Harpo, Neveah, Yttrep or any reversed name. After exhausting the list of biblically flavored names - Moses / Apple, the trend is now to flip the names. I had classmates named Modesty/ Patience and I thought that was weird. Soon all post 2000 born kids when in a room will form clues to a CROSSWORD puzzle. Each name will be an anagram/ palindrome..

Ooo! Wait how about a pangram: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.
What a wonderful and unique name that would be ! And you would have to explain 15 years later: "But quick brown fox no one in the whole wide world has that name. Really you cannot be upset with that."

Just what I needed

2006-05-16T14:15:00.000-07:00

Mobile Clipboard

Season Finale - Grey's Anatomy & Desp Housewives

2006-05-15T12:04:00.000-07:00

Before yall go ewww that I watch DH I must confess that this is the first season that I have watched it so diligently. And I got hooked on to GA only the past 2 months! And is obvious that GA is the clear winner over DH. The only interesting aspect of DH is story about that the working woman with kids (whose husband is having an affair). Severed fingers and lock-ups in basement really does not gel well with the overall motif.

Now about GA. Sunday's episode was a shocker, so much that I cannot wait for tonight's 2 hour spl! Moi curses self for not being hooked onto the one good thing on idiot box much earlier. May be I should seriously consider renting the earlier seasons' dvds. Well, Izzy has pretty much killed Denny. I don't see Burke performing a miracle as he seems to be stone cold. Did I mention my favorite characters - Miranda Bailey and Cristina Yang. Denny over dreamy Sheperd.

Super Sweet Sixteen on MTV

2006-05-14T09:44:00.000-07:00

This program has drawn quite a lot of attention in the media. It is an unapolegetic portrayal of massive expenditures in the name of celebrating one's 16th birthday. I watched a couple of back to back episodes and here are some observations:

It seemed like it was mostly only the girls who wanted to enjoy this kind of an extravagance. (I watched 4 episodes and all featured girls, a fair sample I think)
The bigger the party the better. Many openly stated that they wanted to use this occassion to show off how rich they are.
Being Daddy's little girl opening the flood gates assured anything they wanted.
The mothers seemed more sensible than the fathers, although that did not really help. In fact, it added to the required dramatic element of some kind of a show down between the mom and daughter.
The "entrance" to the party is the most crucial aspect. Varied from adorning oneself with a snake to riding into the venue in a helicopter.
The surprise gift is almost always an expensive car.
The guests of the party seemed to be having more fun than the birthday girl.

When you think about it, this is precisely what every teen wants - attention, make your peers jealous and feel very special. All this differs only with respect to the monetary scale used.

Proposal Defense

2006-05-12T13:22:00.000-07:00

Aced it!

Now I can get back to normal stress free life.

Thanks dear mogudu.

Online Mystery Game

2006-05-11T06:39:00.000-07:00

Cracking the davinci set of puzzles from google whet my appetite for more. After some serious browsing I found 2 wonderful mystery games that can be played online. They star Nick Bounty- a detective right out a Chase novel- who does all that is expected of him. Falls for the good looking dame, talks in an offhand manner, stays nonchalant in the face of danger. I thoroughly enjoyed solving both cases:

A Case of the Crabs and
The Goat in the Gray Fedora

You can also dl the games and play them offline.

David Blaine -- A Shrivelled Triumph

2006-05-09T09:11:00.000-07:00

My first thoughts are to let my acerbic tongue run wild about Blaine's obssessive attention seeking disorder. However, my second set of thoughts tell me that his stunt proved that he was human after all. Had he broken the world record for holding his breath underwater then it would be attributed to his being a magician. But yesternight proved that he was just another guy who tried really hard to push the limits of human endurance. And he deserves kudos for risking the embarassment of failure.

david blaine

TN Election Time-- Vote For Lok Paritran

2006-05-07T09:19:00.000-07:00

PLEASE DO VOTE.

You don't need a Voters ID to do so. If your name is in the electoral list just show your college/office ID, ration card, driving license etc and still vote.

Check out their melodius theme song here or Download

I think the raaga is Karnataka Devagandhari in Carnatic ( Bhimpalas in Hindustani music)

Country gone dogs

2006-05-07T08:07:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from a NY Times interview with the founder of Dog Psycholgy center in LA :

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And you believe that we're projecting our own neuroses onto our dogs, even when we leave the house?

If what you do is say, "I'm sorry, baby, Mommy has to go, blah, blah, blah," the dog doesn't understand what you are saying. He only understands that you are in a soft state and he is dominating you.

So what departing words would you prefer we say to a dog?

"Bye, man."

Do you think it is O.K. for a dog to sleep in bed with his owner?

Yes, because a dog pack sleeps together. But the thing is, you have to invite the dog into your bed.

Should a dog be allowed on the living-room couch?

Make sure you invite them. The whole point is that you always remind them who owns the couch. The pack leader reminds them who runs the show.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Henceforth, we shall witness scenes where :

Dog-Owner with tearful eyes and quivering voice, whispers boldly -- Bye man!

Dog is puzzled.

Free Comic Book Day

2006-05-06T07:20:00.000-07:00

One does love these ideas, especially when one notices the free bit. Check if stores near your area are participating in this venture and grab a copy. Me thinks good old Archie comics are waiting for you.

Assert your Identity you malleable Indian

2006-05-01T16:36:00.000-07:00

I am proud to be a Hindu. However, I am ashamed that I probably know more about other religions than I do about my own. Hinduism, unlike Christianity does not have an aggressive policy of propagating its teachings. Unfortunately, this supposed weakness has been exploited and as a result today we have the world's oldest religion with all its wisdom shelved into obscurity.

Starting with the history school text books that drum the baseless theory of Aryan superiority into our head to the scornful fascination for the fair skin, as a nation we have failed to recognise and acknowledge our rich traditions and customs. We wait for the white man to interpret our Upanishads/ Vedas and believe in the wonderful properties of turmeric only after published research from some Ivy League university. Why do we undermine what we have and yet accept the same from a different source ?

I am not a member of VHP nor am I against other religions. In fact, I am guilty of the some the situations described below. All I hope for is that the youth of India have the right attitude. Is it not true that -

You think it is barbaric when your father uses the neem twig to brush his teeth and yet is perfectly acceptable to buy a glittering tube of tooth paste marketed by some greedy corporate as "New Paste with NEEM!"
You prefer the western medicine to the o! so yucky kashayam (which would have cured your stomach ache)
You prefer fast food from McDonalds to Murugan Idly's healthy steamed fare.
You know all about Coldplay and stand in line for hours to get a ticket to Bryan Adam's concert (where you get roughed and pretend to enjoy it) but have no clue about Carnatic music and think it is cool not to know about M.S. Subbalakshmi.
You would rather pay 80 Rs for an unimaginative coffee rather than drink delicious coconut water for 10 Rs (which is what you need to keep cool in the extreme heat of our country!)
You expand your vocabulary to accommodate words like F*** and yet plead ignorance about your mother tongue.
You think it is more fashionable to wear a wedding band rather than the traditional thali. There have been reactions as extreme as "Who cares about the thali, is so disgusting". Will you ever hear a Westerner dismiss his/her traditions ?

If you cannot stop aping the West, atleast incorporate their values of discipline, punctuality and management. As Vivekananda said, "Awake, Arise"!

Being Cyrus - Movie Review

2006-04-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

Usually I read reviews before watching a movie. In this case, I did not and hence, had no preconceived notions about what to expect. So what I thought was a Hindi movie turned out to be Bollywood actors delivering dialogues in English. The movie revolves around a Parsi family and Cyrus, a wannabe artist. It has some good actors like Naseruddin Shah and Dimple Kapadia, who do deliver in the break from the constant prose-like narration. Although, this genre of movie is definitely a first in Indian cinema the whole experience was like watching a book being enacted out. There is a difference in speaking and passing off "reading what is written" as speaking. Unfortunately, the latter dominated the film. The constant use of cliches, idioms and popular literary descriptions in the narration begged me believe that a book was the script with no effort in etching out the screen play!

A part of the movie reminded me of a section from "Cloud Atlas" by David Mitchell. Of course, not enough replication to create another Kaavya Vishwanathan furor. I am certainly pleased that we are trying hard to move away from dancing around trees and breaking into an item number because Rai had the dates. However, this break away need not necessarily have to be scripted in English. The movie would have been more delightful in Hindi. Atleast, avoiding the awful echoes of pretentious writing.

being cyrus

Stating the obvious..

2006-04-28T13:50:00.000-07:00

How evil are you?

However..

You Are 44% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.
Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

Something fishy..

2006-04-27T11:31:00.000-07:00

Quite understandable that Pickler was booted out. But Paris in the bottom 2!? Now that is difficult to swallow. Maybe since she is an "African American" the votes aren't flowing in as easily as it is for Ms. White McPhee ? Although, the judges did their mightiest to paint a true picture about the not so talented Katherine, they had to apologize for their candour. As always things are not what they seem. Paris has the talent, but is she white enough to win ?

Technorati Tags:
American Idol

I am a bubble blower

2006-04-27T05:24:00.000-07:00

Find your own pose!

Bubble Blowers live in a constant state of reinvention. They thrive on trying new things — foods, countries, careers — and their look is always changing (from mod to soup dragon to robot chic). This endless string of transformations would be disorienting if it weren't for the one constant in their lives: the reconnection they find night after night in The Bubble Blowers pose.

Technorati Tag: Sleep

Quote of the day

2006-04-23T06:46:00.000-07:00

Merkel, Chancellor of Germany about women having to choose between career and kids :

"The question is not whether women will work. They will work. The question is whether they will have kids."

Fibbing with poems

2006-04-16T11:45:00.000-07:00

I
too
shall pen
perfect Fibs
that are arrhythmic
and then glow with a sense of pride.

Fibs: six-line poems that uses a mathematical progression known as the Fibonacci sequence to dictate the number of syllables in each line.

For more see the blog that started it all

Lok Paritran-- How about a blogging Campaign ?

2006-04-14T13:54:00.000-07:00

A political party created by IITians - seems like a dream come true. They will be contesting in the upcoming elections from Mylapore and Chepauk constituencies. But just how successful will they be, is a tough question to answer. They have the drive, motivation and chutzpah to take on the biggies. But will the common man respond ? Won't Vijaykant / JJ / Karunandhi have a stronger pull on the uneducated, celluloid obssessed masses ?

I am almost tempted to get the blog world to start campaigning for these guys. A majority of the Indian bloggers, seem to be of South Indian descent. For every Mylapore mami, if her son/grandson blogger could swing the vote, there will definitely be an effect. What say ?

Big B inspires a Big W

2006-02-23T12:58:00.000-08:00

Will Smith is so impressed with Amitabh Bacchan that he wants to be known as Big W ! Mesmerised by Rai and equating the labors of love (building a lake Vs Taj Mahal) Smith has a child like quality of being wowed.

Sin City

2006-01-13T11:13:00.000-08:00

Highlights of our (hubby & moi) trip to Vegas and Grand Canyon

Grand Canyon (Arizona)
***********************

Truly one of the Natural Wonders of the world- worth the 5 hr drive from Las Vegas! There are several hiking trails from the top of the rim to the Colorado River at the bottom.. Is an 8 hr trek one way. People have been killed from exhaustion trying to hike the trail 2 way on the same day. With only less than a day fr the grand tour , we managed an hour's worth of walking to see the gorgeous colors of the rocks n experience spooky heights!
Interesting fact- a good part of the canyon is named after Hindu deities -- Vishnu / Brahma as they resemble the "gopuram" of our temples! During sunset, the rocks turn brilliant shade of red.

Tourism Around Las Vegas
**************************
Nevada has its own set of fantastic rock formations. We visited the Red Rock Canyons and Valley of Fire. Although not as grand as the big bro in AZ, they had impressive colors and shapes (beehives / arches etc). We spotted professional rock climbers, rappeling away. Visited the Hoover dam-- america's engineering marvel and lake mead.

Aliens are welcome!
*******************

And I thought the East Coast was lonely! If you live in some city, life is fine. But once you get out to drive to another place -- the landscape is so vast and deserted.. no greenery, just mountains in a distance, with stretches of land on either side of the highway that never seem to end.. When driving from Vegas to the Canyons, all we had fr company were the dazzling stars in the dark dark mountain sky (Theoretically romantic, but when you dont see a single car / house / city light/ even a fire fly fr miles and miles AND the gas tank is almost empty with no sign of a gas station on the never ending road YOU ARE SPOOKED) *At this point you start wishing fr Aliens/ UFOs* I was actually looking out fr Mulder and Scully !

Las Vegas CASINOS
********************

"What happens in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas". And that includes the money! The Casinos always win. We played the slot machines -- my biggest winning was 4.50$ *ugh*! TRick is you have to play fr long periods of time to get any profit, if at all. Blackjack had much higher odds of winning. We won upto 150$ with an initial investment of 10$ only! And once you start winning it is just too difficult to stop! You wanna keep playin, hoping fr more easy dough. AND THATS the BIG MISTAKE! Get away from that table and run with what money you've won.. :)

Gambling is just one part of Casinos. Their architecture is just too grand. Especially loved Venetian -- with Canals and gondola rides, an indoor sky, sculptures etc etc;
Ceaser's Palace -- designed in marble, European styled decor
Bellagio -- We loved this one (coz our winnings were really good here!). IT had dancing fountains, which swayed to different tunes.
MGM Grand -- Showy adult lions, tired of being stared by tourists
Mirage -- Rare white tiger posing fr pics!

You have Eiffel tower, Statue of LIberty, even a lil hindu temple (twas a show piece)!!

Shows
*******
You gotta see the shows in Vegas. All the biggies come here -- Jay Leno / Seinfeld /Ray Romano / Celine Dion / Aerosmith (these were some of the folks who were performing then)
The really good shows are expensive (start at 100$ / tkt). We booked our tkts months in advance fr Cirque Du Soleil and David Copperfield.

David Copperfield -- World's Greatest Illusionist
--------------------------------------------------

We got super seats, right near the stage.. I could have tripped Copperfield if I wished, but he woulda made me disappear! The show was fabulous..funny, entertaining, mind boggling. He did the vanishing -reappearing act with a car, on a bike; dwarved himself; read people's minds; went to Thailand and returned without the audience member etc etc. Even got to shake the Great One's hand at the end of show.

Cirque Du Soleil -- The "O" Show
---------------------------------
They dont allow pics during the show..even if they did, there is no way any part of this could have been captured in its setting. The entire show is performed on a stage that alternates between WATER and solid ground. Yes, the stage becomes a pool of water. Is a dazzling combination of acrobatics + lighting effects + music + live singing etc etc. All i can say is WOW!

Consumer Electronics Show (CES)
*******************************
The fantasy come true for technophiles. LArgest consumer technology show, where cutting edge 2006 technology is on display for the first time..b4 intro to market. Every where i see, I see the Asian. Tired after walking and ogling at the gadgets, I flopped into a demo massage chair - the best massage I have ever had (4000$ worth). Played with a more improved Aiybo (the robot dog) Oooo.. the dog got mad at me coz i threw the ball on its nose (flashing red lights!) Like your real doggie which brings yu the paper, this one checks your email!! World's largest TV 104 inches.. These guys are crazy. Sony's new e-reader, lets you read books..Tested it and still prefer the real thing.

All you can eat BUFFET
**********************
Had to try one of these-- famous in vegas. Bellagio supposed to be the best (NOT FR THE VEGGIE!) Ugh! As much as I wanted to like exotic foods, I couldn't.
Seaweeds, pickled ginger, veggie sushi (an oxymoron ?) The desserts were fabs. Hogged on those :)

Love to visit it, but not live in it. It ain't the real world.

Thatha

2005-12-02T16:07:00.000-08:00

Thatha passed away at 4:45 am IST, Dec 3, 2005. The genius in my family. There can never be another like him -articulate, humorous, brilliant, handsome, versatile, entertaining..

Barreku, Kusleechubava, Sabdilwaa will remain alive in our memories. If only I had a tithe of his intelligence, I may have completed my PhD when he was alive. Something he always said, he wanted me to do.

I hate the past tense.

Most unenviable state..

2005-11-17T11:17:00.000-08:00

Being a Muslim lesbian.

Go figure..

2005-11-06T20:09:00.000-08:00

if black and white
produces a gray

if the dimming light
ends a day

does the loss of love
destroy your mind

does the loss of love
mean, close your eyes

What are you really thinking ?

2005-11-06T19:32:00.000-08:00

"Your saree is lovely! You are soo suitable to be on the fashion show."

"Oh! no, no", she replied and blushed self consciously, wondering secretly if she had made a mistake wearing such a bright color."I think YOU look lovely. Aww..look, your children are so pretty!"

She cursed the little devils in her mind. She never did like Ms. Mehta.

Full Blown (Anita Sullivan)

2005-11-04T19:10:00.000-08:00

A radio play that was short listed for the 2004 Imison Award, Full Blown is a senstive drama about a 30 year old woman who suddenly discovers she is HIV positive. Weaving between the past and the present using just music, voice intonations and words, this play is truly delightful. You begin to feel the pain of treatment, will her recovery, and, revel in the beauty of life along with the protagonist. Every sound is heard for a reason and every word has its place in the grander meaning of the play.

You can hear it on BBC Radio. You should.

Another Reiki Session

2005-11-03T07:10:00.000-08:00

I finally made it to another Reiki Club meeting. Initially I was disappointed that the Reiki master was not present. However, it turned out to be a great session. When I was being 'treated' by two other rookie Reiki students, I began to see colors of violet and indigo. Mostly violet. It is amazing to perceive a flood of color suddenly cloud your mind's eye. When I did some self Reiki, I could only see spots of violet. Guess, this means that I need to concentrate more. Why I don't see other colors like green/ red/ yellow, I don't understand. Violet is my color and I am thrilled about it coz it means (Reference):

Violet
Violet is associated with the seventh chakra - Sahasrara (Thousandfold, Thousand Petaled). It is a regal color and is the color of inner-power. Violet can bring higher understanding and calm.

Indigo
Indigo is associated with the sixth chakra -- Ajna (To Perceive, the Qualified Absolute). It helps build a positive outlook and bring inner strength.

PS: I am still seeking scientific explainations to explain this.

Forgotten Festivities

2005-11-01T13:51:00.000-08:00

He walked down the corridor towards the noisy under-graduate class, barely taking in the surroundings. He still needed to word-smith that NSF proposal and review a paper for the conference in Atlanta . Suddenly a student loomed large in front of him and said, "Happy Diwali!". Confusion clouded his mind, as he tried to understand what was said. In a flash, he saw the electric shower of flower pots, the erratic spinning of the thara chakra and the sinuous movement of fake snakes from the chemical pellets.

He mumbled slowly, "Oh, I did not realise it was Diwali. I had forgotten all about it. Been ages since we celebrated it. I should tell my wife.."

Another Diwali lost in the memories of a desi, stuck in the limbo of the foreign land.

Recipe - Hunger Correlation

2005-10-27T14:30:00.000-07:00

I confess - I am a foodie. My passion to cook stems from my desire to eat good food. Sounds arrogant, but that is the truth. And if this desire ever abates, then I always have the challenge of wringing a compliment out of the world's toughest food critic -my husband. Hence, I conclude that I will forever don the chef's hat.

At the risk of sounding unfeminine, I will also admit that I am hungry at all times, except when I am eating. This hunger is exacerbated by restraining orders that keep me confined to small cubicles. The usual grad student is satisfied with a free pizza and sugary sodas. Obviously, by now, one has divined that I am no normal being (I suspect Kumbakarini , Sapadu Lakshmi are phrases flitting across your mind) . No, I have the deepest disdain for cheese pizzas and have eliminated all thoughts of sodas from my system.

To support my lofty ideals about my viands and victuals, I launch upon a mission to find THE new creative recipe, the stunner that will stop my world. I seek inspiration in those gazillion web sites that promise delicious dinners in a jiffy. Well, since I am Vegetarian only 40% recipes are relevant; eliminate about 20 % from this, cause they use eggs. But my favorite haunts disappoint me. I know them all, read them a million times. (alas! had I spent my resources on 'actual' research, I would have had my own personal chef by now!).

I have printed pages of my mother's recipes- painstaking translated into Tanglish, collections from my mil, bound cook books and yet, I surf for recipes! So I hypothesize that there can be no conceivable explaination for such irrational behaviour other than the fact that : I believe looking at recipes, will assuage my hunger!

Sometimes, I feel sorry for myself. For the unconscious that is being deceived by my conscious. All this rambling is making me hungrier. If you happen to know of some great veggie recipe sites, let me know. It won't be too long, before we hear the rumbling of my hunger again.

Movie mania

2005-10-20T13:51:00.000-07:00

30 second reviews of movies we watched the past weeks. Heck! These records are just to make sure I don't watch the same movies again.

House of Sand and Fog : Watch it just for Ben Kingsley. He is such a great character actor. Movie is thought-provoking, with an unexpected conclusion. You keep taking sides until the very end and stop as you feel so emotionally drained. You wish things didn't happen the way they did.

Constant Gardener : Read some good reviews about it. On the contrary, the movie is just some clever story-telling, with Africa thrown in to provide the color.

Maria Full of Grace: Foreign language (Spanish) movie which details the life of one young girl, caught in the drug smuggling racket. Although predictable, the movie has its moments of suspense.

Monster: Hopeful that Benigni would have produced another stunner ? Forget it. Expect a slap-stick balderdash coated with puerile humor.

Bewitched: Can't believe Nicole Kidman starred in this one. Avoid at all costs.

Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

2005-10-20T07:40:00.000-07:00

For all the hoopla about this novel, I was quite disappointed with it. Six stories, all entertaining in their own right; however, fail to produce that 'big bang' as a whole novel. The language in the beginning is a bit tedious to read. As the novel progresses, you wait for that mysterious connection to be revealed. Unfortunately, there is a only a fizzle and you start skimming through the last pages.

Crestfallen - thats my reaction about this novel.

I got attunement

2005-09-14T19:12:00.000-07:00

My unsatiable desire to learn something new all the time (the bane of my life), took me to my first Reiki session. Wow! What an experienceeven though I ventured forth with my usual armour of skepticism. The Reiki Master is a professor in my department. (Actually the emphasis should be the other way around!) After a brief introduction to the history of Reiki, its effects, code of ethics (healing without touching) etc, he offered to "attune" us. There were four of us and he would perform a parallel attunement. We were asked to close our eyes and relax. I was prepared to spend a boring twenty minutes, not expecting anything to happen. I started wondering about dinner and cooked up some delicious recipes. However suddenly, I was confused about where I was. My eyes were closed and yet I saw stunning colors. Hues of violet, electric blue, indigo kept flooding my vision. If it is possible to blink with your eyes closed, I sure did! I tried rolling my eyes (all the while closed) trying to check if these colors were just imagined or caused by some distortion in the lighting. And yet they persisted, especially the brilliant blue (which is related to the chakra at the throat). It was a fantastic experience and I felt so rejuvenated at the end of that session. All this is done just by transmitting energy using your hands (without any physical contact) into the chakras or other focal points which need attention. Congrats me! I am supposed to be certified at Level I Reiki. Now I can pass energy using my hands and practice Reiki on myself and some unfortunate others.

Life isn't all ha ha hee hee

2005-09-13T18:48:00.000-07:00

Fiction is make believe. Somehow the past few years I had lost the inclination to read any fiction. They were too cliched and predictable. And then suddenly, I discover a gem of a book. My pulse races. The first few chapters are tantalizing. However, I beg myself to prepare for the terrible disappointment of mediocrity that will inundate the rest of the book. But Meera Syal guarantees quite a roller coaster. Weaving together the lives of three Brit-Asian women she creates a colorful tapestry of friendship, pretense and betrayal, laced with humor. The mellifluous writing cleverly disguises her satire of Indian customs and traditions.

An extract from her book which had me laughing really hard.

Context: Chila and Deepak have just got married. The Chila's family is outside the marriage hall, and they are all bidding their teary farewells to the bride (who is supposed to jump into the chauffer-driven car and be off to her new life)

"....awful endless moaning, broken with pleas in Punjabi "Please God, dont take our daughter from us, our baby leaving us for ever, please God, keep her safe...." Other members of Chila's family followed in a hysterical wake, raising impassioned eyes and arms to the sky, towards Deepak's family, towards Chila's parents, the all-purpose Indian gesture of 'Life's crap but what can you do, huh?' "

"...Deepak's family stood now with the sorrowful but resigned air of funeral directors, saddened by their unpleasant duty to remove this woman from her grieving family but determined to fulfil their role with dignity and if need be, a gentle shove. "

After Confederacy of Dunces, I had almost lost all hope of ever finding a good read. Well, now I am back to my Wodehouse, unless you have other suggestions!

"Super" - Empty glitzy affair

2005-07-24T10:09:00.000-07:00

Nagarjuna is 45 and yet has a fantastic physique. I guess it was this fact that attracted a housefull show for his new movie Super. After 10 minutes you realise that you are in for the long haul. This movie proves that one good looking dude cannot hope in hell to carry it off as a decent flick. Ayesha was like a cloying sundae and keeps smiling at all times (even when the scene begged her to cry as she was going to be killed!). Was she into modelling earlier ? The comedy track gives some respite from the tepid romance and possibly promising action sequences. I am still searching for the famed last scene in Goa. Watch it if you are a die hard Nag fan. Actually even that is not a good enough reason.

Pondicherry - Beyond Auro

2005-07-05T23:17:00.000-07:00

A tourist destination; definitely not for the weather. It is as humid as Chennai but much cleaner!
We stayed in a guest house run by the Aurobindo Ashram. The location was priceless - just beside the sea. The fantastic sunrise over the horizon is worth missing the morning sleep. My brother was finally able to practice his French (reading the street names!). Policemen wearing little square- shaped red hats were constantly on the vigil thanks to the burgeoning foreign tourist population. The epicurean will be disappointed as the so called quaint european restaurants dish out fancy items with a heavy price tag. Stick with the dosas and even those seemed a rarity.

The sea is very rough and the sharp jagged rocks don't quite allow you to wallow in the waters. Of course as a typical desi would, I expertly climbed down the rocks to feel the waters (the cops are not out early morning). Tis heaven to feel the waves lapping against your feet (and before you know, you are completely drenched!). The Auro beach about 7 km from the beach road is a safer place to play with the waters.

The Ashram is so peaceful and tranquil with oblivious devotees from all over the world. Mother's samadhi is beautiful and even the faithless feel a certain bliss. The Manikula Pillayar temple seemed like any other ornate temple, till we watched an elephant enter the temple, accept the prasadam and do a pradakshanam. I am so proud to be a Hindu. Where else would animals and human beings exist in such harmony.

If you hate someone ask them to visit the Auroville town. It is one long bumpy dusty ride (some metaphorical meaning that I am missing ?) along the sepia colored plantlife. The village is open only in the morning and so we had to return along the same exciting rollercoaster path in the 2pm heat. We watched a few westerners braving the heat and riding 2 wheelers. I am sure they knew what we were thinking - "Why in the world are you here?"

There are other places of interest like the Bharatiyar's home, museum and other popular temples and cathedrals. A couple of my aunts had done their schooling in Clooney's Convent and Immaculate School there. So it was nice to reminiscence. (Though personally I thought it was horrible to subject young girls to the cruelty of having to eat bread for bkfast everyday)

Pondicherry is a great place for a short visit.

Guruvayoor

2005-06-27T01:24:00.000-07:00

Guruvayoor, the abode of the idol that is believed to have been worshipped by Lord Krishna himself. I took this picture while waiting in the queue for darshan. They seem like such an unlikely mother-child pair yet they feel complete; almost divine. People here go into a frenzy and start wailing the lord's name, Kanna Kanna especially as you enter the garbagraham. It is truly a unique experience.

Kerala - bloopers paradise

2005-06-20T02:22:00.000-07:00

We set foot in Kerala confident of our Tamil and English speaking skills dolloped with a good amount of the Mallu accent. Had quite a gala time trying to communicate our needs. The Keralites are friendly, amusing and real good sports.

We were given the tree-name tour by our driver as we wound our way in the car to the hotel. It was his earnestness that prevented me from laughing aloud as he kept pointing out the Eucalipstick trees
No hotel in Munnar has a fan. Atleast that was what we were told. When I called room service and asked for a table fan I was first greeted with silence and then heard rollicking laughter at the other end. Apparently we were the first guests to have asked for a fan
If you want to read the paper- be specific. Enunciate clearly : I want a copy of today's newspaper (keyword) to read. Else you will be gifted with random sheets of paper - torn, a week old, the Malayalam daily etc.
Practice saying the previously mentioned sentence especially if you are addicted to knowing the news. I was waiting in my room for the 'paper' I had asked for. Instead the kind bellboy got me special tea with cardomom pepper!
Much against my wishes my mom asked a maid if the hotel did not provide the "hand spray" facility [beside the commode]. The maid gave us a triumphant look and dashed into the bathroom with a plastic bag. We were sufficiently impressed that they carried around the required attachments. She opened her bag, whipped out the cleaning brush and a bottle of cleaning liquid and began cleaning the toilet vigorously. When I tried asking about the hand spray, she just pointed to the bottle and said spray.
To compound things, another cleaning maid seeing the bewildered look on our faces offered to help as she knew Tamil. When we explained it all, she gave us the "I know what you are talking about look" and got a bottle filled with water (spray type).
And be prepared to know how many portions of bread you will be eating.

Some observations..

The national dress for women of Kerala is the nightie with a towel that acts like a duppatta. This explains why every mannequin displayed proudly in the shop-front is dressed in a nightie.
The animals will grace you with their presence only when they feel like it. I managed to catch sight of wild pigs in the Periyar Sanctuary and for that I am grateful. The Nilgiri Tahr decided to come out of hiding (Eraivikulam National Park) just as we were leaving in the car. It refused to meet me the 1 hour I spent walking in search of it.
Look out for the Black monkey and let me know if you see it. Some knowledgeable localite told me that troops of them can be seen all over the place.
It is not as cold as they tell you it will be
A local internet shop will have a 11 slot USB card reader with CD writing facilities. I burnt a CD for 25 Rs only.
If you have a Christian driver do the Hindu temple research on your own.
Try to go to shops different from the ones your driver patronises. It is possible that he is channeling your business for some commission.
Ask upfront about hidden charges and don't worry about coming across like a penny pincher. You are paying, not them.
I did not get a single mosquito bite.
Every dam will have a boat ride and speed boat is a misnomer. You can bribe the boat driver to cover extra distance (over the 15 mt limit) but don't. Not worth it.
Your chances of survival are highest if traveling by jeep on the mountainous roads. All other smaller vehicles can be squashed like flies. (Well if you are in a bus you cannot even enter some paths)
Don't eat the tea leaves right off the bush. They are awfully bitter. Kudos to the Chinese for processing them and inventing tea.
There is no best season to visit Kerala. Any time is a good time.

Lack of choice - sometimes a good thing

2005-06-14T02:08:00.000-07:00

We went grocery shopping in a local supermarket in Chennai. There were about 4 aisles and 3 billing counters. It was so beautiful. I did not have to walk miles (like in Walmart) to buy some milk. Whats more, there is exactly one kind of milk packet to buy. So I did not have to wonder about buying skimmed milk, 1/2/3/4..percent milk,low fat milk, soya milk, flavored milk, organic milk etc. Of course there were moments of unpleasant surprises when I discovered that Horlicks came in about 5 different flavors (just who would drink the honey one!) and that Betty Crocker might be making headway with her readymade cake mixes.
I was overjoyed to zip between the aisles and buy cheese and a tennis ball in under 30 seconds. One cannot possibly do this in ANY Walmart as all of them have the exact same topography unless you are a combination of P T Usha and Dhara Singh (how fast can you run pushing a truck sized shopping cart?) .
And who said popcorn was only for the theaters or microwaves. Namma popcorn thambi, located right outside the shop churned out some delicious indian masala popcorn. Yummy.

Men don't deserve faithful wives

2005-06-10T04:07:00.001-07:00

My maid complained the other day that her husband was publicly leching another married woman. When she protested he threatened to throw her out of the house. Ironically she brings in a substantial part of the income. He beats her every night for no reason and suspects her every move.

As you move towards the higher strata of the society, men adapt less crude methods. Emailing ex-girlfriends, internet pornography, after dark chats etc are some of the lesser evils. Extrapolate it and you will have full fledged affairs.

I am not a feminist (atleast I hope I don't turn into one) but going by the staggering proportion of men breaking the rules, I am forced to focus on them. So why is so it difficult for a married man to be faithful? Here I define unfaithful as any salacious behaviour that does not involve the legal better half. You don't have to have sexual intercourse with that third person to violate the norms of fidelity. The mere thought is contaminating enough.

Do women have to swallow the age old explanation that they are constantly looking to expand their progeny. BS.
Guys, if you are incapable of keeping your woman happy, don't get married. You don't deserve someone who devotes her entirety to you.

Marriage Feast

2005-05-27T09:38:00.000-07:00

Marriage Feast
Originally uploaded by sublaks.

Delicious yummy marriage feast served on the banana leaf. There is an order in the dishes that are served. This picture shows:Appalam, white rice, sambar, poriyal, chips, dahi vada, mango thokku,pal payasam, etc etc ummm... God, thank you :)

Paper Man

2005-05-27T09:21:00.000-07:00

Paper Man
Originally uploaded by sublaks.

He has the modern cell and an antiquated measuring balance to weigh old newpapers and buy them by the kilogram from you.
You can sell him your old lamps, tattered clothes and pretty much anything that can be recycled or sold again.

A mother at 13, cancer at 14 and dead by 16..

2005-05-25T10:09:00.000-07:00

This is a story (BBC) about a teenager who started life in the fast lane. There are many untold stories of such young girls. The only difference being that Beckie is from a developed country where she made a conscious choice to take care of her child. Tragically diagnosed with cancer, her family support and acceptance allowed her to build and capture memories for her little one.
Now imagine the young girls in developing countries who are forced into prostitution at an age when they should be playing with other kids and not perverse men. They face unwanted pregnancies, have no legal support, no medical facilities and produce illegitimate children who are marked for the rest of their lives. Academy award winning documentary Born into Brothels captures the life of prostitutes' children in Calcutta. Maybe they won't be killed by cancer. But the chances that they will perish because of some STD is very high. The only memories that their little ones will have are those of their girl-mother languishing in pain.

Chaaat

2005-05-22T20:06:00.000-07:00

Chaaat
Originally uploaded by sublaks.

Shot of chaat (pav bhaji) being made.
Look ma! No gloves.

All sweat and spice
makes food healthy and nice

Corn Puff

2005-05-21T11:02:00.000-07:00

Corn Puff back view
Originally uploaded by sublaks.

Umm delicious corn puff. I dont get this in the USA. The secret to eating this :
Place a single corn puff gently on your tongue. Close your mouth, and then let the roof of the mouth touch the corn puff (with the help of your tongue). Absorb the delicious flavor. It will slowly melt away.. heaven :)

Servant Maid

2005-05-19T22:34:00.000-07:00

Saraswathi, my maid is looking for a groom for her 15 year old daughter. Inspite of being married to an alcoholic and getting beaten up everyday, she wishes to get her lil one married asap. She has 2 daughters and wants to fulfill her responsibilities. Virginity is a big deal especially in the lower strata of the indian society and so is caste. Neither can be compromised. 2 years ago I was passionate about lodging a complaint with the police when she would show me her bruises and cuts from the beatings of the previous night. Of course that very thought shocked her. It was her husband and she was fated to receive the blows,
Today, I hear different reasons for her getting thrashed.Eg: why was he graying earlier than she was. I feel no such youthful passion surging through me. I just accept with resignation. Now I try to advice her against marrying off the daughter so early. Perhaps 2 years later, she will show me her grandson.

Chennaiiii

2005-05-19T10:30:00.000-07:00

Landed yesterday morning. Food downed so far :

Roast crispy dosas with sambar and thenga chutney
Mola keera masiyal, vazhakka roast
Manga pachadi
Chilly paneer , Gobi machurian, fried rice, Kadai veggies, naan
Pomegranate, pazhapazham (jackfruit)
Mangoes, custard
Navarthna Kurma

It has been less than 48 hours since I got here. Feel worlds away, in home sweet home.

New Blog

2005-05-09T18:41:00.000-07:00

Started a new blog to document my perspective about the plight of some Indian women. It is not a site for a news junkie but will have details that one cannot find the media reporting. I have been meaning to help abused women and children as long as I remember. Hopefully this small step will give me the resolve to get involved in bigger projects.

India Trip

2005-05-05T18:15:00.000-07:00

In less than 2 weeks I will be going home. I dream about..

luscious golden mangoes
cool eleneer (coconut water)
blazing sun
smell of jasmine
cry of hawkers
aroma of samosas
traffic stopping cows
bonding with stray dogs
driving on the left side of the road
buzzing mosquitoes
swatting the mosquitoes
tamil serials
bumpy rides on potholed roads
bargaining
marriage feasts on banana leaf
sitting by the door on the train
travelling at 20mph in a car with windows lowered
olfactory assault by kuvam
rationing water
pattu saree maamis
exchanging gossip
cheri tamil

I wish you could come with me..

Smart Wal Mart

2005-05-03T19:25:00.000-07:00

This is not about illegal workers or cheap labour. This is about exploiting the human need to feel important. If you look at the Wal Mart weekly brochure (the one that lands up in your mailbox along with all the other junk mail) you can see non-model like figures, wearing Wal Marty products, staring at you. The associate manager is sporting the latest sandals , and the manager is wearing that cool summer dress. I try in vain to find a picture of a cashier or one of those helpers (ppl wearing blue jackets you bug in the store when you cannot find something). So I have this theory that you need to be high up in the organization to get yourself into one of those ubiquitous booklets. I imagine there is a waiting period. Perhaps, this is also used as an incentive. The best employee of the month can appear on the cover. Aah! I await the next weekly edition where the common man meets the silver screen.

Five Squeezy pieces & fishes

2005-04-27T12:28:00.000-07:00

Filled with delicious humour this Brit radio show (5 squeezy pieces) sure does make me laugh loud. An all woman show, the jokes are feminist but nonetheless have a ring of reality to them. I remember seeing Meera Syal in rare snatches of short comedy pieces on the telly in India. I can't remember the name of that show but the tune is well etched in my head. BBC Radio has a wealth of wonderful programmes ranging from news to views. Right now listening to 'Foul Play'
where P D James ( my mom's fav mystery author) tries to solve a whodunit. In US, NPR comes close (not that close tho) to this kind of programming. Best feature of all - no intermittent ads that break the flow!
Wow..I discovered another great show - The Goldfish Bowl where the fish watch the relationship problems of their owners.

Can life get better ? :)

Kill the Idiot Box

2005-04-25T07:01:00.000-07:00

Finally a way to zip the lip of that ad on TV. Use TV-b-gone to shut off annoying voices soliciting you - to buy cars you can't afford, to try new exercise machines (you are always going to be overweight in the eyes of the media), to taste the new menu addition in Olive Garden (this is the first time I have seen a restaurant advertise dishes!) etc..
The sweet sound of silence awaits humanity.

Chandramukhi

2005-04-24T08:43:00.000-07:00

Aah! What happens when someone who is not a Rajini fan watches this movie ? She is mighty impressed. Not with the colorful kite flying or the slapdash matrix effects but with the fact that perhaps the movie was bigger than the Superstar for a change.
No one liners that you will be subjected to till the next Rajini release (atleast if you are in Chennai) and no cute double-entendre political dialogues, although I must comment that a couple of them were pretty salacious.
I cannot quite remember the story of BABA (tho I love the ring of B 2 the A to the B 2 the A) but I think it had some supernatural component which did not quite appeal to my well-trained rational mind. Chandramukhi was sensible with huge doses of psychiatric talk appealing to self proclaimed scientific minds. To cater to the faithful, Rajini retains the special pujari in the end (although logically that does not serve any purpose, except for giving Jyothika a chance to roll those XL sized eyes)

Good entertainer, especially if you are starved of Tamil movies like I am.

Did you know..

2005-04-20T11:39:00.000-07:00

It is physically impossible for you to lick your elbow. Let me know if you can.

Aye-aye

2005-04-15T08:08:00.000-07:00

Lemurs don't top my list of favorites but the aye-aye is truly scary. It gives me goosebumps just looking at the picture, so I do not dare to post it here. Legends have it that aye-ayes bring death to the village they are seen in. No doubt, seeing the glowing orange eyes at night might have caused a couple of oldies to pop off. However, beauty is only skin deep. So I think we should give these weird ones a chance especially as they are almost extinct.

Evolution

2005-04-13T14:24:00.000-07:00

Evolution
Originally uploaded by sublaks.

Beware of the man in the middle. He is the most dangerous of them all.

Forget the PhD

2005-04-13T12:20:00.000-07:00

Now that we can randomly generate research papers and have them accepted too (!!) why do I even need to continue studying?

For all those rants and raves use auto-complaint generator

Courtesy : slashdot.org

Browser conspiracy

2005-04-11T08:23:00.000-07:00

I did not think it would be true, but it is. I wanted to download Dot Net framework. Since I use Mozilla I was directed to a different site . The download freezes after a certain point and the estimated time for the dl to complete was given as 1 hour odd (I have a 12 Mbps speed!)
I tried the same with IE and the whole process was done in under 20 seconds.

Have to use chopsticks to eat your noodles whether you know how to or not, in the MS world

Birds of a feather flock together

2005-04-09T10:37:00.000-07:00

hats
Originally uploaded by sublaks.

I am no fashion expert but Charles-Camilla wedding could spark off some fiery protests by SPCA (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals,throw in some birds too)

Analyse their hats. One could mistake Camilla's head for a lost porcupine. Although I doubt if anyone could look so elegant with a rodent burrowing into your hair. Or perhaps her hat was a metaphor. Don't you dare mock me for I am armed with shrapnel. Annabel Elliot (extreme right) follows her sis with a feathery touch (now some bird is towering as her crowning glory). Laura,her daughter seems content with sporting a nest.

If anyone out there seems appalled by my analysis..too bad. This is how girl geeks think about fashion.

Rock Paper Scissors

2005-04-09T05:08:00.000-07:00

Perhaps my childhood talents could prove useful after all. There is actually a North American Intercollegiate RPS competition. You also have a world RPS society! Their site enlightens you with strategies, rules and tips for coaching students for the all important competition. I am not sure if the article How to get most out of coaching young RPS players was supposed to be funny, but it totally cracked me up.
As I browse the site I realise that this is serious stuff. Time out.. I need a couple of hours to let facts sink in, that I could have been a school drop out and made a living out of this

The following haiku posted by an RPS enthusiast sums it all -

You only live twice
Once when you are born and once
When you R.P.S

What is going on dude !?

Water = Child

2005-04-08T14:37:00.000-07:00

Finally some smart bills being passed. Government of Maharashtra has told banana and sugar cane farmers they will not get water for irrigation if they have more than two children. Better deliver that third kid quickly before the Bill becomes a law, coz it doesn't apply to farmers who already sport over 2 off springs.

Now this is innovative stuff.

You are not a lunatic just coz u talk to yourself

2005-04-06T13:45:00.000-07:00

I am sorry but some people cannot help talking to themselves. Am sure many of you out there have done it, unknowingly. One cannot master 'monologues with the self' and hope to qualify for the insanity label. Of course there are people who are unaware of all these stipulations and hence, intelligent species like me get stereotyped.

In all honesty, I don't consciously start a conversation with myself. It is a cold day, with the snow falling all around. I see this girl wearing flip-flops and start muttering to myself about how some feet are cold-proof. And soon branch off into other topics like " Should I take the short cut across the slushy ground or walk around. If I did walk in the slushy snow, I could slip and that would be embarassing. However I would feel like Neil Armstrong if I did walk through it. But I don't think there was ever a moon landing. Hey given the rapid progress we should have landed in Mars by now. Perhaps the landing on moon was a hoax after all."

At this point, I notice some people staring at me and start castigating myself "Stop stop talking. You are scary. No, don't talk. Idiot. Can't you shut up. "

See, we are sane. We just don't think the majority would appreciate being hounded with thoughts like this. Hence the monlogue and this blog.

Amul Warrior

2005-04-04T10:41:00.000-07:00

Amul warrior
Originally uploaded by sublaks.

Took this pic on last year's Halloween in the downtown. Thought he had a neat costume. And whats more, for a complete stranger he was charming enough to pose for a picture (in many different angles)
Slice that butter!

Why am I growing fat?

2005-04-03T18:24:00.000-07:00

The first two decades of my life I enjoyed all the fuss of my anxious relatives who encouraged me to eat. I was thin. So they worried about my marital prospects. Indian men then, were known to feel kindly towards well-rounded women. I did manage to entice someone in my 'thin state' of life, married him and continued bingeing. I figured that my metabolism could handle the high carb stress and I would remain in the same shape. However today my jeans from 2 years ago lie dormant on my shelf, whispering demeaning things about me. I hear them discussing their horrific experiences. She almost killed me trying to wear me..Aw, that was nothing, we almost made it but my lil button pal gave away..

My mom believes that every newly married woman does gain weight, out of sheer happiness that she has hooked an unsuspecting male specimen. Although I tend to agree, I feel that this reasoning might be flawed as once the happinness stabilizes shouldn't your weight stabilize too ? So I figured, she was just trying to console me.

I think it is the milk & family of related products (oh! Cheese members, heads on plz) that is doing all the damage. The reason I did not gain much weight in India was because of its population.

Increasing population -> deforestation -> less agricultural land -> hay given less importance (we humans come first) ->underfed cows ->low fat milk -> Q.E.D

So we battle obesity in USA by giving birth.

Correct instead of Criticize

2005-04-02T05:53:00.000-08:00

That is the wikiness mantra which I believe holds true for life too. People seem to use criticism as a medium to achieve many different objectives - a joke at someone's expense, an outlet for own insecurities, jealousy, etc. The most positive effect of criticism would be improvement.
However, is it possible to criticize constructively and not demoralize the recipient ? I think the finest example of this would be my advisor. Till date, he has gone through innumerable pages of my supposed research outpourings and not on a single occassion has he lowered my self-esteem by negative criticism. And yet, at the end of each discussion I am fully aware of my shortcomings and feel rejuvenated enough to believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Another striking illustration: He had gone to Mumbai,India for a week on a teaching assignment. For any westerner who has not visited a developing nation, my country is a shocker in many respects. And yet, when he returned, all he had were words of praise about the food, the people, the hospitality. It seemed like he had just visited paradise! I meet so many critical Indians here who openly shun my country, her pollution, the government, the poverty, the heat, etc.. Barring the lesson in patriotism, the moral of the story is : if you cannot correct something, shut up. Don't sit and bitch about it.

Looking back, I believe I am guilty of blogging a piece which is hyper-critical of someone. That will be deleted. I am learning too.

Happy April fool's day

2005-04-01T06:03:00.000-08:00

Try this one

Feeding tube frenzy

2005-03-30T12:05:00.000-08:00

First Terri Schiavo, then the Pope. CNN must be drooling. Dr.Sanjay Gupta, the doctor who always gets called on CNN, for any health related issue will finally get to become an expert on this topic. My theory is that he got picked out of med college in his first year and was trained in media relations. So don't think he ever got a chance to practice medicine.
I am sure Terri has done more to influence people by being in the state she is, than she could have ever dreamt of. Henceforth spouses will be careful when watching TV shows. Imagine, you are watching "Everybody loves Raymond" and are infuriated by the mother-in-law. Now be careful before saying things (even in jest) like "I would kill my MIL if she did something like that". Next thing you know, you could be serving time for something you never did.
It is now fashionable to possess a living will (Pull the plug ASAP) though I wonder how it works. What if the plug puller is also in a similar state, then do you have a list of nominees ?
Aww..get over it. Worry about earthquakes instead. However if you can't get enough of it, check Terri's blog . Now how is that possible ? Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi .

Kick a$$ Cricket

2005-03-28T13:21:00.000-08:00

India Vs Pakistan: India 449 & 214 lost to Pakistan 570 & 261-2d by 168 runs (Men's Cricket)

Women's World Cup: India 141-3 (45.5 overs) beat England 139 (49.3 overs) by seven wickets

Perhaps Ganguly's boys need a little help from the fairer sex.

Hotel Rwanda

2005-03-25T19:12:00.001-08:00

I haven't seen Million Dollar baby, but I sure think that this movie deserved the Oscar atleast to make up for the world's indifference when Rwanda was burning. The OST is also very appealing. Two lines that caught my attention and sums up pretty much all of our attitudes when we see such atrocities.

This one is from the movie, where a journalist explains what happens when people get to see genocide reports on television - "After they see this, people are going to say 'My god that is terrible', And then go on eating their dinners. "

After the movie ended, I heard a discussion in the restroom. A white teenage girl exclaimed to her friend "I am like so happy, that all this like happens in these other countries"

Curd Rice

2005-03-21T12:45:00.000-08:00

Finally I know why we always eat curd rice at the end of a meal, every meal. Apparently natural yoghurt beats bad breath. This is one more reason to go yoghurt, other than providing a cooling effect to compensate for all the spicy food consumed earlier in the meal. See it pays to follow traditions blindly. The reasoning will come along. Now will someone please research why we cannot cut our fingernails on Tuesdays ?

For the Vocabulary Challenged

2005-03-15T07:30:00.000-08:00

Define your lingo and establish it. Urban dictionary allows you to edit and add new words that you believe represent a meaning the world needs to know. Arjun Plakkat's parents will be thrilled to know that their son's well thought out name has now acquired a deeper meaning. Scrabble lovers will go hyper when they see the list of X words there.

Some words that I believe should be a part of main dictionary

cheetah- Dragging the huge bucket of water from the kitchen to the bathroom as the only source of water is the kitchen tap.

Origin: The motion of transporting the bucket reminds one of the smooth movements of the above mentioned cat

Eg: You have to cheetah, if you want to bathe today. / Help me cheetah.

kynki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi- Used to rationalize something difficult to explain;

Origin: From The title of a popular Hindi soap; means - at some point the MIL (mother in law) was a DIL (daughter in law)

Eg: Traffic jam again! I guess kynki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi.

bulb - To be deceived by someone and hence experience deep disappintment. The whole incident is referred to being given the bulb.

Origin: Tamil language. Perhaps it started out to mean that one is plunged in gloom when the bulb goes outs.

Eg: When your girlfriend does not turn up for your date it means you have been given the bulb

Will keep updating this list as and when I remember

Blitzkrieg

2005-03-14T08:22:00.000-08:00

The last time I was asked to teach the undergrads, I finished the required material in less than twenty minutes (the class was supposed to be for an hour and 15 mts). I do deserve credit for trying to draw out the material for as long as possible. Nevertheless, it was all over in a jiffy. An hour later I get an email from a student that said
" I came to class 15 minutes late and it was empty. Was the class cancelled ? "

No doubt, I will be the most popular professor on campus if I have the audacity to become one.

Doctors cannot prognosticate!

2005-03-10T06:26:00.000-08:00

The flu graced our home last weekend, my husband being the principle host. I played Florence Nightingale, confident that my immune system could easily fight these weak foreign viruses. After all I had survived typhoid, hepatitis and other deadlier diseases. Monday morning my throat felt a little scratchy. The kind that disappears after a hot cup of coffee. And so I thought. I go to the doctor just to make sure that I am not coming down with a flu. I could see that the Italian practitioner was puzzled. I didn't look sick at all. So inorder to while away some time, he delved into the theory of viruses and explained how they spread etc. He did hesitantly mention that I looked too healthy to be afflicted by anything. He reluctantly wrote a prescription for some cough medicine (I told him I had no cough at all) I had a sore throat! Perhaps, cough medicine was abundant and cheaper at the school clinic.

Last three days, I have been sick with chest congestion, running nose and breathing difficulties. I am not a hypochondriac and this is just to illustrate that it does not pay to go to your physician ahead of time. They need adequate evidence to tell you what you already know. A far cry from preventive medication.

-Subbu

Free Scoop of Icecream

2005-03-02T12:56:00.000-08:00

Happy 10th Birthday Yahoo! Get a free scoop of icecream from any Baskin & Robbins. You have to be a registered Yahoo member tho.

Warning Signs

2005-03-02T10:49:00.000-08:00

Is your spouse obsessed with cleanliness ? If so, you better read
this

Movie Delights

2005-03-01T11:35:00.000-08:00

We watched Aviator in an 'art' theater. This means a smaller screen and some fancy decor. I was surprised to find a balcony seating arrangement too. Been ages since I watched a movie from up there. Sometimes you just wanna be above the rest of the commoners. :P What was more delightful was that Mondays meant free popcorn.

Have you noticed that when you come to watch a movie you just have to buy popcorn and some soda. You might have had dinner/lunch, but one needs keep munching that bag of buttery, delicious, fibrous popcorn when watching the movie. It is like a race between the mouth and the brain.
Do I enjoy popcorn ? Yes.
Am I aware that I am eating popcorn when seeing the movie? No!
Then what happens when you don't eat popcorn ? I feel fidgety, empty and am unable to concentrate on the movie
Weird.
In India, going to the movies was like packing for a picnic. You would stuff all the leftover snacks - chips, muruuku, mixture, biscuits, chocolates into a big bag. Given the fact that any regional movie is atleast 2.5 hours long, we needed the sustenance. We also carried water in one of those 2 liter Sprite/Coke bottle. The heat got to you inspite of the air conditioning in the theater. I always refused to carry the eatables. It was beneath my dignity to hoard around a bag of goodies and a monstrous bottle of water, despite the fact that I was the one who shamelessly devoured the snacks, protected by the dark of the theater.
Once we got to our seats, the procedure almost never varied. We wait for the theater lights to grow dim. Surely, what would the others think of us, if we started to eat right away. 10 minutes into the movie, I open the bag, slowly, trying to stop the rustling of the plastic. Did someone hear me open the bag ? Perhaps, I should use the loud sounds of the movie to camouflage this noise. Soon, snacks would be passed around. Sometimes to strangers we don't know. After all, the act of eating becomes subconscious. At the point of intermission (half way through the movie) we would have finished most of the supplies. Luckily, we have vendors just outside in the lobby, waiting to sell us stuff priced at 4 times it real value. Obviously, we just cannot sit there and not eat anything. So we burn some more money on deep fried, oily delights.
I hear that now, we have theaters that serve 4 course meals when watching the movie.Can't wait to get those tickets. Atleast, now I wouldn't have to worry about opening the snack bag in secret!
-Subbu

Whats in the shape

2005-02-24T12:13:00.000-08:00

Let me start out by saying that not every woman in the world needs to sport a wedding band to indicate that she is married. There are other cultures and religions that have managed to come up with varying versions of what describes one as married. I am married under the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955 in a lavish traditional wedding ceremony and NO I DON'T WEAR a wedding band. Excuse my outburst, but I am sure you will soon understand why.
South Indians wear a necklace/chain called thaali/mangalasutram that symbolizes that they are married. They weigh a ton (yes that is correct) and look something like this.
So for all intents and purposes, it is hidden beneath the many warm layers of clothing and hence not that visible. I fancy finger rings and so sport a diamond ring on the middle finger (there is no hidden agenda there, the ring was too loose on the other fingers) of my left hand.

The two fatal mistakes I made :
1. Wearing it on the middle finger of my LEFT hand
2. Wearing a damn small diamond (hey it was for my fancy!)

So the questions I often get asked are -

* Aloud : Why do you wear your engagement ring on the middle finger ?
Thinking: You must hate your fiancee

* Aloud : Wow! that diamond is so pretty.
Thinking: Even George can do better..I can't even see the thing

I might be a graduate student and consequently poor, but I am not letting them think that I was always "poor"! So I venture forth my standard explaination and show them my thaali. I swear I am not making the following conversation just because I want to sound funny but this is how it usually goes.

Me : Pulls out the chain from deep beneath and displays the gold chain proudly
Curious One: They are two breasts!

TIMEOUT --- If you are Indian, you know what a taboo part of the body b....ts are. You don't say those words aloud!

Me: Stunned, red and stammering - I believe you might be correct. This brings a whole new perspective to everything now.

To date I do not know why my thali is shaped the way it is. Perhaps, we really did try to infuse sensuality into everything, the Land of Kamasutra and all. But, now I don't complain too much when people think I am engaged, poor or a bad wife who doesn't wear the wedding band. Anything is worth not hearing the same reaction again and again.

-Subbu

Lets get it started now!

2005-02-24T11:25:00.000-08:00

Alright.. I am tired of trying to write serious stuff that is supposed to matter. As you can see I ain't having much success in being this intellectual . So I have decided that what I need is a frame of reference. When I write my blog, I don't write with a target audience in mind (that there is no one out there reading is a different matter) and so my writing has become like pillow fluff. Scattered and directionless.
So to get back some structure into this activity, I am going to take a topic and find something funny in it. I don't want to use the phrase humor columnist as neither part of that title is yet established.

Now that I know what the hell I am doing, lets get it started now!!

-Subbu